Saturday, June 11, 2011

Re-Evalutation Time

Okay, It was one of those weeks where I think the message is- a question: 
"Where do I go from here?"
I have been very happy dabbling in all of my passions. 
Juggling my music lessons, crochet lessons,
blog writing, jewelry making, polymer clay creating, sewing, art quilting, deadlines..ect.
 I finally finished two baby sweaters for my friend Jen who had twins recently.
Still working on a couple commission jobs and
"Who has your money?"
This past week after no notice my merchant provider decided to overdraft my business account
with some fee I never heard a word about.
or...the more money they make!
In fact they claim they have been sending me statements in the mail
and I have not received one of them.
I have to dispute this with my bank and after being on hold and having the call dropped twice
I am reconsidering if I even want to deal with this bank anymore.
These are the not so fun aspects of trying to run your own business.
The total confidence shaking , trust destroying and motivation killers
that pop up out of nowhere.
I guess I don't need to tell you that merchant account is closed.

I have a craft show next month so I need to have a merchant account set up!
The good news is I am ready for a phone upgrade
so it looks like the Iphone and Square up are my best option.
I am so grateful for the experienced people who have helped me make this decision.
I feel like I am gambling with my life savings.
Which in this economy is truly frightening.

My husband tolerates my artistic nature because it makes me so happy
but I think he just wishes I would go get a regular job.
I have tried and even if I could get one he knows,
after 36 years with me there would be a heavy price to pay if it made me unhappy.
I spend a lot of time pushing away my masked enemies,
guilt, procrastination, the critic and fear of failure.
I don't need these real world parasites in my life too.
So feeling like a jilted ex I am picking myself up,
brushing myself off
and starting over again.
I will smile and have a wonderful weekend!! 
Looking at where I want to go, how I spend my time and who I can trust.
I am stubbornly following my dream, just adjusting the color...


  1. I am so sorry to hear about the issues with the merchant account, but mom and I feel your pain (it happened to us last year too). Mom and I love the Square, used it the first time last month at our first show and we LOVE IT! I hope everything works out in the end and keep your chin up. Everything happens for a reason and it will turn out great in the end. Have a great weekend!

  2. Hope you can sort it all out...most definitely don't give up at this stage! I am sure things will work out..even for the better!

  3. Sometimes we have curves thrown at us from who knows where or why! I hope everything works out the way you want...

    Always follow your dream even if the colors what works for you otherwise your happiness will be at stake!!!
    Enjoy your day.

  4. That stinks. I've been looking at my merchant statements for my bank account and I feel like I'm just handing them WAY more money than I should be. I dread having that conversation.


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