Re-Evalutation Time

Okay, It was one of those weeks where I think the message is- a question: 

"Where do I go from here?"

I have been very happy dabbling in all of my passions. 

Juggling my music lessons, crochet lessons,

blog writing, jewelry making, polymer clay creating, sewing, art quilting, deadlines..ect.

 I finally finished two baby sweaters for my friend Jen who had twins recently.

Still working on a couple commission jobs and

WHAM!!

"Who has your money?"

This past week after no notice my merchant provider decided to overdraft my business account

with some fee I never heard a word about.

or...the more money they make!

In fact they claim they have been sending me statements in the mail

and I have not received one of them.

I have to dispute this with my bank and after being on hold and having the call dropped twice

I am reconsidering if I even want to deal with this bank anymore.

These are the not so fun aspects of trying to run your own business.

The total confidence shaking , trust destroying and motivation killers

that pop up out of nowhere.

I guess I don't need to tell you that merchant account is closed.

I have a craft show next month so I need to have a merchant account set up!

The good news is I am ready for a phone upgrade

so it looks like the Iphone and Square up are my best option.

I am so grateful for the experienced people who have helped me make this decision.

I feel like I am gambling with my life savings.

Which in this economy is truly frightening.

My husband tolerates my artistic nature because it makes me so happy

but I think he just wishes I would go get a regular job.

I have tried and even if I could get one he knows,

after 36 years with me there would be a heavy price to pay if it made me unhappy.

I spend a lot of time pushing away my masked enemies,

guilt, procrastination, the critic and fear of failure.

I don't need these real world parasites in my life too.

So feeling like a jilted ex I am picking myself up,

brushing myself off

and starting over again.

I will smile and have a wonderful weekend!! 

Looking at where I want to go, how I spend my time and who I can trust.

I am stubbornly following my dream, just adjusting the color...